XES Library


vector illustration of a black person with blonde hair leaning back in their wheelchair while a white person with red hair is giving them oral.

Replacing the P in Pain with Pleasure! - A Guide

September 26 2021
It’s the year 2020 and we still find people settling for painful sexual encounters believing that it’s normal or inevitable. This guide explains how to live a totally fulfilling and sexually satisfying, meaningful and pleasurable life regardless of one's pain. The blog discusses creating a pleasure toolkit, promoting intimacy, adaptations, modifications, and more!
Illustration of a spine with the spinal cord splitting in half. The spinal cord illustration resembles a power cord splitting in half.

Let’s talk about sex and intimacy in healthcare

September 5 2021

Undressing, showering, toileting — we’re raised to think of these as private tasks. But if you’re a person with disability then you’ll know it can be completely necessary and accepted that healthcare workers become involved. There is another aspect of care that unfortunately gets neglected in most healthcare settings — that is, the subject of sex.

Illustration of a woman wearing black pants and a white singlet hugging herself. She is standing next to a 4-wheel walking frame.

Things I Wish That I Was Told...

August 8 2021
I wish I was told that it is okay to love my body. I wish I was told that I could do things just for myself, not anyone else. I wish I was told that self care is important, and that I should be able to do things that make me feel good. I wish that I was told my body is not something to be ashamed of. Now, I’m learning more and more about myself. I’m learning to accept my body and appreciate all that it does for me. 
Illustration of a a couple leaning in for a kiss. One person is in a tilted power chair while their partner is balancing with one foot on the power-chair and the other foot is in the air. The partner is leaning forward to kiss the powerchair user.

8 Tips and Tricks to Help Spice Up Your Sex Life When You Have Cerebral Palsy

May 18 2021
I have had cerebral palsy my whole life which has caused me to have a lack of mobility within the left side of my body. Because of this, I have had to figure out different ways to navigate my sexual desires and sexual needs. Here are 8 tips and tricks to help spice up your sex life when you have cerebral palsy...
Illustration of two people high-fiveing. The person on the left is wearing a long-sleeved orange crop top, large breasts and has black long wavy hair.  The person on the right is wearing a red jumper and has a black bob.

CRASH Course in: Neurodiverse Relational and Sexual Health

April 2 2021
We’ve all had moments where we felt left out, confused, heartbroken, and wishing life came with a rule book. OT Kayla takes us through her crash course regarding neurodiverse relationships and sexual health. Topics include intrOducTion to OT; neurOdiversiTy; cOmplianT (compliance); can they dO iT?; relatiOnship Types; reOluTions; and more.
Disability Pride: Unlearning Shame and Reclaiming Pleasure

Disability Pride: Unlearning Shame and Reclaiming Pleasure

December 20 2020
I have always carried shame in my body like a vital organ; growing with me, living in and as a part of me. The processes of claiming pride in my identity as a disabled person and reclaiming pleasure have had a symbiotic relationship. I have encountered many barriers to pleasure; pain, fear of injury, lack of privacy and feeling as though I was no longer attractive...
BDSM and Chronic Pain

BDSM and Chronic Pain

December 6 2020

In my personal life, and past relationships, there have been comments made and questions asked regarding why I, as someone with chronic pain, am a fan of BDSM. If there was more disabled representation when openly discussing elements of BDSM in marketing and educational material, I feel that these questions, whether voiced or internalised, wouldn’t be so commonplace.

Illustration of two people standing on a staircase facing each other. One is handing the other a flower. They are both holding books that say "Going on a Date - A Social Story".

Dating on the spectrum

December 3 2020
Because dating can be more challenging for neurodiverse people, from the outside, people often assume that this indicates a lack of interest – but it couldn’t be further from the truth. While there is diversity in all of our relationship preferences, they are an important and fundamental part of being human, and this is no different for people on the autism spectrum. Sex and relationships are good for us too!
Illustration of a person in a wheelchair browsing on their computer and looking at vibrators. There are 3 different vibrators on the screen.

Accessible Sex Toys for People with Disabilities

November 28 2020
Sex and sexuality can be negatively affected by a disability, acute illness, or chronic disease. One way that occupational therapists can work with clients to help them return to sexual function is to embrace sex toys and positioning aides as adaptive equipment. So, let’s discuss barriers to sexuality and some sex aides that can help clients overcome them!
Illustration of a man sitting in a wheelchair with his partner standing lovingly next to him with her hands on his shoulder and chest.

Sex and Intimacy following SCI

October 25 2020
I injured my spinal cord early into my 20s. Waking up one day completely paralysed, realising that you are now a quadriplegic and learning all of the things that were to follow as a result of paralysis was tormenting and heartbreaking. I tried with my girlfriend to have sex, nothing was going to plan. I could not hold an erection, I could barely feel what was happening and I was starting to get really upset and frustrated. 
Illustration of two men lying in bed in a spooning position. They are naked and have body hair covering their chest and legs.

Relearning Sex - Top To Bottom

October 25 2020

This week, Jason Clymo breaks down his story about how he re-learnt to experience sex and pleasure in new ways. Ongoing stigmas within our society mean that many people assume that sex after an acquired impairment is not possible/enjoyable; or perhaps that it is exactly the same as before! Jason's here to illustrate his own experience and offer some advice for having sex as or with a person with disability.

Illustration of a person lying in a sling with her arms raised behind her head and her legs dangling in the air. She is surrounded by various sex toys.

Cripping Up Sex

October 11 2020

I don’t have the luxury of keeping my sex toys private. I have Cerebral Palsy, which for me means I use a wheelchair and need help with any physical activities from eating, drinking, going to the bathroom, and everything in between. When I was 19 I had this really cool aide, shortly after hiring him he asked me “Eva, do you masturbate?”. I looked at him like “how the hell would I do that?”

Illustration of a person with flowers covering their breasts and pubic area.

5 Ways Being Disabled Impacts My Sexuality

September 26 2020
Alright, so here’s the thing: I’m unapologetically vocal about sex. I’m also unapologetically disabled. The two aren’t in the same realm of traits, obviously. But being disabled impacts my sexuality and directly influences how I approach everything related to sex. It surprises (and intimidates) many non-disabled people to find out I’m confidently open about both sex and disability. 
Illustration of a large bedside lamp that is shining light on a bed. The Northcott Innovation symbol is a pink circle with the letter 'n i' written inside. The illustration reads "Under the Covers with Northcott Innovation"

Under the Covers - Northcott Innovation

August 28 2020
Over a series of videos, six people from across the disability spectrum share their experiences of navigating intimate relationships and the barriers they face to enjoying a satisfying sex life. “Everyone has a right to experience it, no matter how you look or appear to others. Everyone has a right to be loved, and to feel that intimacy with someone else.”
Illustration of a dark purple person sitting on top of an orange person in a wheelchair. The purple person is leaning backwards with their hands on the orange persons feet and their hair flowing backwards while receiving oral sex from the orange person.

Systemic Desexualisation of People with Disability

August 21 2020

Ableism exists everywhere, so it really shouldn’t surprise you that it is experienced throughout dating and sex as well. Whether it’s being automatically friend-zoned, ignored on Tinder, or asked “Can you have sex!?!?” - it exists. But why? Why do non-disabled not know better? Why is it that even some people with disability believe they can’t be sexual?

Image that reads 'The Sex Toy Industry Is Flawed' with a picture of FlexMami inset.

The Sex Toy Industry Is Flawed ft XES Products

August 16 2020

We recently caught up with FlexMami on her podcast Whatever I Want to discuss the lack of accessibility in the sex toy industry. 

Topics discussed include: How inaccessible the sex toy industry can be; what kind of sex toys people with varying needs and abilities may need; how the industry is improving and where it's regressing; and more... 

Image that reads "A conversation with Jennie Williams from Enhance the UK, #UndressingDisability" in red writing. There is an image of Jennie Williams to the right of the text. Jennie is wearing sunglasses and an orange and blue floral dress.

A Conversation with Jennie Williams from Enhance the UK

August 9 2020
[VIDEO CONTENT] We recently caught up with Jennie Williams, the CEO of Enhance the UK. Enhance the UK aims to change the way people view disability, which often involves removing the ‘fear factor’ that so often surrounds the subject.  'Undressing Disability' aims to raise standards in sexual health and sexual awareness for disabled people.
Illustration of a woman in a wheelchair wearing a white singlet. There are question marks and exclamation marks in the illustration. There is a persons bottom half - with their hands crossed in front of their pubic region. The person has leg & pubic hair

Sex, Dating and Disability

July 28 2020
Everytime I thought about dating, I had this internal monologue in which I was constantly asking myself if people would be able to see past the label and see me for who I am when our society is filled with so many preconceived ideas of what it means to be disabled, how the heck is sex going to work, and if I disclosed my disability would the conversation with my perspective date just fizzle into nothingness?