8 Tips and Tricks to Help Spice Up Your Sex Life When You Have Cerebral Palsy

Illustration of a a couple leaning in for a kiss. One person is in a tilted power chair while their partner is balancing with one foot on the power-chair and the other foot is in the air. The partner is leaning forward to kiss the powerchair user.

Written by Tylia Flores

Illustration by Maartje Aletta Reggin

 

I have had cerebral palsy my whole life which has caused me to have a lack of mobility within the left side of my body. Because of this, I have had to figure out different ways to navigate my sexual desires and sexual needs.  

Being completely dependent on a wheelchair to satisfy my everyday needs and wants, finding different ways to sexually satisfy myself could sometimes be pretty difficult, but luckily I always come to find a solution that leads me to becoming  sexually satisfied.  
Here are 8 tips and tricks to help spice up your sex life when you have cerebral palsy:
  1. Watch porn that portrays the sexual life of someone with a disability
    Believe it or not, watching a pornographic film that portrays someone with cerebral palsy helps me feel more comfortable with myself.

  2. Have open communication with your partner about your sexual needs and desires
    When you have cerebral palsy you need to think of unique ways to spice up your sex life and try different things to continue improving your sexual relationship with your partner. Talk with your partner about what your sexual desires are.

  3. Try to incorporate your equipment 
    I've learnt to incorporate my wheelchair when being involved in sexual activities. One of my favourite features to use on my wheelchair is the tilt-back feature for when I’m having intercourse with my partner because it allows my body to be comfortable and doesn’t put a time limit based on my spasticity and pain level.
  4. Take your time and enjoy the process
    Sex is a very passionate activity for you and your partner so take your time and enjoy the process from start to finish. Embrace your sexual needs and desires for what they are.

  5. Take your prescribed medication
    I have learnt it is best to take your prescribed medications before having intercourse since cerebral palsy causes you to have spasms and they can be pretty hardcore if they are not managed appropriately.

  6. Have a set schedule in place
    Scheduling and planning sex can be very important when you have cerebral palsy due to all the doctors’ appointments and physical therapy appointments that we have. I find it beneficial to have a schedule in place with my partner so that way we can ensure that we are prioritising sexual activity as an important part of our relationship.

  7. If you need to, take classes that cater to educating adults with disabilities on sexual needs
    Taking a sexual education class as an adult was something that I found very helpful when wanting to become sexuality active. The class gave me an idea of what to expect when exploring sex and I learnt how to cope with sexual desires.

  8. Be yourself
    I think it’s very important that you show that you are confident within your own skin and you are willing to be yourself despite the obstacles and challenges life throws at you.
I hope that these tips help you have a very happy and healthy sex life!

 

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Tylia Flores (@stomping_on_cp_with_tylia)  is a 25-year-old born with cerebral palsy. Although her condition has affected her mobility, it has never affected her will and determination to make a difference in the world. Through her many life challenges and obstacles, she discovered her passion for writing. Tylia’s goal in life is to share her stories with the world. In doing so, she hopes to help others with disabilities realize that they, too, have the potential to make their dreams come true.

Find Tylia @

Website: https://tyliaflores.com

Podcast: Stompers in Love

Maartje Reggin (@littlemaart) is a disabled designer and activist from The Netherlands who loves doing research and making everyone feel included. She is a friend to all animals (especially her two house bunnies and her cat) and can’t live without tea. 

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