December 20 2020
I have always carried shame in my body like a vital organ; growing with me, living in and as a part of me. The processes of claiming pride in my identity as a disabled person and reclaiming pleasure have had a symbiotic relationship. I have encountered many barriers to pleasure; pain, fear of injury, lack of privacy and feeling as though I was no longer attractive...
December 13 2020
It’s the year 2020 and we still find people settling for painful sexual encounters believing that it’s normal or inevitable. This guide explains how to live a totally fulfilling and sexually satisfying, meaningful and pleasurable life regardless of one's pain. The blog discusses creating a pleasure toolkit, promoting intimacy, adaptations, modifications, and more!
December 6 2020
In my personal life, and past relationships, there have been comments made and questions asked regarding why I, as someone with chronic pain, am a fan of BDSM. If there was more disabled representation when openly discussing elements of BDSM in marketing and educational material, I feel that these questions, whether voiced or internalised, wouldn’t be so commonplace.
December 3 2020
Because dating can be more challenging for neurodiverse people, from the outside, people often assume that this indicates a lack of interest – but it couldn’t be further from the truth. While there is diversity in all of our relationship preferences, they are an important and fundamental part of being human, and this is no different for people on the autism spectrum. Sex and relationships are good for us too!
November 28 2020
Sex and sexuality can be negatively affected by a disability, acute illness, or chronic disease. One way that occupational therapists can work with clients to help them return to sexual function is to embrace sex toys and positioning aides as adaptive equipment. So, let’s discuss barriers to sexuality and some sex aides that can help clients overcome them!
November 15 2020
Does distance really make the heart grow fonder? Sorry to break it to you, but no, it doesn’t. If you like me, are very silly and find yourself in a long-distance relationship, or alternatively are considering getting into one (RUNNNN!!!!), here are a few unsolicited tips for surviving a long-distance relationship. From someone who almost didn’t survive one.
November 8 2020
We are living in a digital age where constant judgement and expectations are tied to the superficiality of social media. Where one day skinny is sexy, then the next, strong is the new ‘it’. There is an ever-changing bodily ideal that is considerably unattainable for most. How can we please our romantic and sexual partners and be considered attractive if we do not view ourselves this way?
November 1 2020
I went to get my first pap smear when I was 18. I called the free university health service and requested a female doctor. For any adults with a uterus, a pap smear or cervical screening is an inevitable part of maintaining our sexual health and preventing cervical cancer. However, sometimes the way we are treated by healthcare professionals can have a profound impact on our health-seeking behaviours.
November 1 2020
Going for your first Cervical Screening Test, or Pap smear, can seem daunting and scary. We are here to tell you that is not the case. A Cervical Screening Test usually only takes a few minutes and is one of the safest ways to prevent Cervical cancer. We've broken down the steps of getting a Cervical Screen so you know exactly what to expect.
October 25 2020
I injured my spinal cord early into my 20s. Waking up one day completely paralysed, realising that you are now a quadriplegic and learning all of the things that were to follow as a result of paralysis was tormenting and heartbreaking. I tried with my girlfriend to have sex, nothing was going to plan. I could not hold an erection, I could barely feel what was happening and I was starting to get really upset and frustrated.
October 25 2020
This week, Jason Clymo breaks down his story about how he re-learnt to experience sex and pleasure in new ways. Ongoing stigmas within our society mean that many people assume that sex after an acquired impairment is not possible/enjoyable; or perhaps that it is exactly the same as before! Jason's here to illustrate his own experience and offer some advice for having sex as or with a person with disability.
October 11 2020
I don’t have the luxury of keeping my sex toys private. I have Cerebral Palsy, which for me means I use a wheelchair and need help with any physical activities from eating, drinking, going to the bathroom, and everything in between. When I was 19 I had this really cool aide, shortly after hiring him he asked me “Eva, do you masturbate?”. I looked at him like “how the hell would I do that?”
October 4 2020
As expected, he wants to do everything he can to fulfil this desire. At the start of this new method his stamina was insufficient and he’d ultimately collapse on the bed in fatigue, unable to sustain it. He kept trying time after time, but again his stamina and strength were lacking.
*** Please note: this blog was written with light-hearted humour and is not intended to be taken seriously.***
September 26 2020
Alright, so here’s the thing: I’m unapologetically vocal about sex. I’m also unapologetically disabled. The two aren’t in the same realm of traits, obviously. But being disabled impacts my sexuality and directly influences how I approach everything related to sex. It surprises (and intimidates) many non-disabled people to find out I’m confidently open about both sex and disability.
September 19 2020
Becoming a mother is one of the most significant rites of passage you will ever experience. However, the journey to postpartum can challenge your physical, mental, sexual and emotional wellbeing. Janelle Gullan has a passion for nurturing and empowering women to navigate conception, pregnancy, birth and mothering with self-love, confidence and vitality.
September 15 2020
My perfect, it’s meant to be, man I thought I was going to marry and have a million kids with pulled “it’s not you, it’s me” on my cute little butt. It was an emotionally traumatic experience, to say the least, even for a strong, independent woman like myself. To get through this breakup I was going to do anything to fast track the healing process and within that, I found a little nugget of gold: sex and relationship podcasts.
September 8 2020
By the time I was twenty-four I was back to soaking through tampons and pads. It hurt to have sex, it hurt to stand up for too long, it hurt to get out of bed, it hurt to go to the toilet. My cycle brought with it never-ending stabbing pains, waves of nausea and unpredictable bloating. Enough was enough when I started to get non-stop pins and needles in my pelvic area and when sex became too painful to tolerate.
August 28 2020
Over a series of videos, six people from across the disability spectrum share their experiences of navigating intimate relationships and the barriers they face to enjoying a satisfying sex life. “Everyone has a right to experience it, no matter how you look or appear to others. Everyone has a right to be loved, and to feel that intimacy with someone else.”
August 23 2020
With polyamory, you can fall in love again and again, enjoying that initial excitement turning into intimate connection without having to let go of another. Love is not limited. You have enough love to give to as many people as you want, it does not have to be confined romantically to one person. As you have many friendships that are unique, you too can have unique romantic ones that fulfil different needs.
August 21 2020
Ableism exists everywhere, so it really shouldn’t surprise you that it is experienced throughout dating and sex as well. Whether it’s being automatically friend-zoned, ignored on Tinder, or asked “Can you have sex!?!?” - it exists. But why? Why do non-disabled not know better? Why is it that even some people with disability believe they can’t be sexual?
August 19 2020
In 2005, a team of archeologists unearthed a 28,000-year-old dildo. This phallus was distinguished as an ‘elongated polished item with round incisions at the top’ by its finders. With this image in mind, we invite you to join us on a voyage into the expansive history of human sexuality, exploring the prevalence of sex toys in the form of leather, wood, stone, goatskin and even camel dung. Viva la orgasm!
August 16 2020
We recently caught up with FlexMami on her podcast Whatever I Want to discuss the lack of accessibility in the sex toy industry.
Topics discussed include: How inaccessible the sex toy industry can be; what kind of sex toys people with varying needs and abilities may need; how the industry is improving and where it's regressing; and more...
August 9 2020
[VIDEO CONTENT] We recently caught up with Jennie Williams, the CEO of Enhance the UK. Enhance the UK aims to change the way people view disability, which often involves removing the ‘fear factor’ that so often surrounds the subject. 'Undressing Disability' aims to raise standards in sexual health and sexual awareness for disabled people.
August 5 2020
So you can imagine how excited I was to add another human into the mix. And look, after the natural first few fumbles that come with losing your V plates, doing the deed was starting to get good. But it was just that, good. Not great. Not explosive. Not even close to what I could achieve with 30 seconds and my right hand. I was into the sex, but why did I feel the need to go home and finish myself off?
July 28 2020
Everytime I thought about dating, I had this internal monologue in which I was constantly asking myself if people would be able to see past the label and see me for who I am when our society is filled with so many preconceived ideas of what it means to be disabled, how the heck is sex going to work, and if I disclosed my disability would the conversation with my perspective date just fizzle into nothingness?
July 11 2020
Once a month like clockwork, I was encumbered by visceral shooting pains and cramping. I simply thought the much-anticipated war had arrived and the battleground was situated squarely within my pelvic region. Awoken by the pain in the early hours of the morning, hobbled over on my bathroom floor, heat pack in hand, I was sharing – albeit so I thought – in that uniquely female experience...
July 11 2020
Your partner’s birthday is coming up. Do you write them a card, buy them a gift, or take them out on a date - or perhaps a combination? Now flip the script and think about what you would most appreciate most on your birthday? This is the concept of love languages - the way we like to give, receive, and express love.
July 11 2020
Let’s start with an anecdote, shall we? Picture this: you’re young, cradling the space between childhood and your teenage years. In the playground, perhaps. A school friend runs on over, settles their fingertips in a ball across your undressed knees and tenderly splays them open. “That,” they tell you, “is 1/8th of an orgasm.”