XES Library


Illustration of two men lying in bed in a spooning position. They are naked and have body hair covering their chest and legs.

Relearning Sex - Top To Bottom

17 hours ago

This week, Jason Clymo breaks down his story about how he re-learnt to experience sex and pleasure in new ways. Ongoing stigmas within our society mean that many people assume that sex after an acquired impairment is not possible/enjoyable; or perhaps that it is exactly the same as before! Jason's here to illustrate his own experience and offer some advice for having sex as or with a person with disability.

Illustration of a person lying in a sling with her arms raised behind her head and her legs dangling in the air. She is surrounded by various sex toys.

Cripping Up Sex

8 days ago

I don’t have the luxury of keeping my sex toys private. I have Cerebral Palsy, which for me means I use a wheelchair and need help with any physical activities from eating, drinking, going to the bathroom, and everything in between. When I was 19 I had this really cool aide, shortly after hiring him he asked me “Eva, do you masturbate?”. I looked at him like “how the hell would I do that?”

Illustration of a couple in a gym setting. One person is doing a sit up and kissing the other who is in a plank position.

Get them to the gym!

15 days ago

As expected, he wants to do everything he can to fulfil this desire. At the start of this new method his stamina was insufficient and he’d ultimately collapse on the bed in fatigue, unable to sustain it. He kept trying time after time, but again his stamina and strength were lacking.

*** Please note: this blog was written with light-hearted humour and is not intended to be taken seriously.*** 

Illustration of a person with flowers covering their breasts and pubic area.

5 Ways Being Disabled Impacts My Sexuality

September 26 2020
Alright, so here’s the thing: I’m unapologetically vocal about sex. I’m also unapologetically disabled. The two aren’t in the same realm of traits, obviously. But being disabled impacts my sexuality and directly influences how I approach everything related to sex. It surprises (and intimidates) many non-disabled people to find out I’m confidently open about both sex and disability. 
Illustration of a mother (with a visible c-section scar) with her partner behind her. Her partner is wrapping her arms around her stomach.

Mothering and Intimacy with Janelle Gullan

September 19 2020
Becoming a mother is one of the most significant rites of passage you will ever experience. However, the journey to postpartum can challenge your physical, mental, sexual and emotional wellbeing. Janelle Gullan has a passion for nurturing and empowering women to navigate conception, pregnancy, birth and mothering with self-love, confidence and vitality.
Illustration of a person sitting in a bath with headphones on. They are holding an iPod and have a bionic arm. Their other hand is holding a glass of wine.


September 15 2020
My perfect, it’s meant to be, man I thought I was going to marry and have a million kids with pulled “it’s not you, it’s me” on my cute little butt.  It was an emotionally traumatic experience, to say the least, even for a strong, independent woman like myself. To get through this breakup I was going to do anything to fast track the healing process and within that, I found a little nugget of gold: sex and relationship podcasts. 
My Reproductive Organs Hate Me

My Reproductive Organs Hate Me

September 8 2020
By the time I was twenty-four I was back to soaking through tampons and pads. It hurt to have sex, it hurt to stand up for too long, it hurt to get out of bed, it hurt to go to the toilet. My cycle brought with it never-ending stabbing pains, waves of nausea and unpredictable bloating. Enough was enough when I started to get non-stop pins and needles in my pelvic area and when sex became too painful to tolerate.
Illustration of a large bedside lamp that is shining light on a bed. The Northcott Innovation symbol is a pink circle with the letter 'n i' written inside. The illustration reads "Under the Covers with Northcott Innovation"

Under the Covers - Northcott Innovation

August 28 2020
Over a series of videos, six people from across the disability spectrum share their experiences of navigating intimate relationships and the barriers they face to enjoying a satisfying sex life. “Everyone has a right to experience it, no matter how you look or appear to others. Everyone has a right to be loved, and to feel that intimacy with someone else.”
Illustration of multiple naked partners who are all linked by holding hands or touching one another. Colours used are orange and purple.

Dating With a Side of Polyamory

August 23 2020

With polyamory, you can fall in love again and again, enjoying that initial excitement turning into intimate connection without having to let go of another. Love is not limited. You have enough love to give to as many people as you want, it does not have to be confined romantically to one person. As you have many friendships that are unique, you too can have unique romantic ones that fulfil different needs.

Illustration of a dark purple person sitting on top of an orange person in a wheelchair. The purple person is leaning backwards with their hands on the orange persons feet and their hair flowing backwards while receiving oral sex from the orange person.

Systemic Desexualisation of People with Disability

August 21 2020

Ableism exists everywhere, so it really shouldn’t surprise you that it is experienced throughout dating and sex as well. Whether it’s being automatically friend-zoned, ignored on Tinder, or asked “Can you have sex!?!?” - it exists. But why? Why do non-disabled not know better? Why is it that even some people with disability believe they can’t be sexual?

Illustration of a timeline of sex toys through the ages.

The History of Sex Toys

August 19 2020

In 2005, a team of archeologists unearthed a 28,000-year-old dildo. This phallus was distinguished as an ‘elongated polished item with round incisions at the top’ by its finders. With this image in mind, we invite you to join us on a voyage into the expansive history of human sexuality, exploring the prevalence of sex toys in the form of leather, wood, stone, goatskin and even camel dung. Viva la orgasm!

Image that reads 'The Sex Toy Industry Is Flawed' with a picture of FlexMami inset.

The Sex Toy Industry Is Flawed ft XES Products

August 16 2020

We recently caught up with FlexMami on her podcast Whatever I Want to discuss the lack of accessibility in the sex toy industry. 

Topics discussed include: How inaccessible the sex toy industry can be; what kind of sex toys people with varying needs and abilities may need; how the industry is improving and where it's regressing; and more... 

Image that reads "A conversation with Jennie Williams from Enhance the UK, #UndressingDisability" in red writing. There is an image of Jennie Williams to the right of the text. Jennie is wearing sunglasses and an orange and blue floral dress.

A Conversation with Jennie Williams from Enhance the UK

August 9 2020
[VIDEO CONTENT] We recently caught up with Jennie Williams, the CEO of Enhance the UK. Enhance the UK aims to change the way people view disability, which often involves removing the ‘fear factor’ that so often surrounds the subject.  'Undressing Disability' aims to raise standards in sexual health and sexual awareness for disabled people.
Illustration of a person with their hand covering their pubic area. The person is coloured in red and their arm is orange. They have hair covering their body. Their pubic area hair is shaped with a loveheart.

The pleasure quest

August 5 2020
So you can imagine how excited I was to add another human into the mix. And look, after the natural first few fumbles that come with losing your V plates, doing the deed was starting to get good. But it was just that, good. Not great. Not explosive. Not even close to what I could achieve with 30 seconds and my right hand. I was into the sex, but why did I feel the need to go home and finish myself off?
Illustration of a woman in a wheelchair wearing a white singlet. There are question marks and exclamation marks in the illustration. There is a persons bottom half - with their hands crossed in front of their pubic region. The person has leg & pubic hair

Sex, Dating and Disability

July 28 2020
Everytime I thought about dating, I had this internal monologue in which I was constantly asking myself if people would be able to see past the label and see me for who I am when our society is filled with so many preconceived ideas of what it means to be disabled, how the heck is sex going to work, and if I disclosed my disability would the conversation with my perspective date just fizzle into nothingness? 
My goddam uterus

My goddam uterus

July 11 2020
Once a month like clockwork, I was encumbered by visceral shooting pains and cramping. I simply thought the much-anticipated war had arrived and the battleground was situated squarely within my pelvic region. Awoken by the pain in the early hours of the morning, hobbled over on my bathroom floor, heat pack in hand, I was sharing – albeit so I thought – in that uniquely female experience...
There is a blue hand holding a brown hand, a girl with brown skin wearing an eye patch, a women wearing a head scarf, a present, a love letter, a plant being watered and a hand in the rock on gesture.

How do you love? (The 5 Love Languages Explained)

July 11 2020
Your partner’s birthday is coming up. Do you write them a card, buy them a gift, or take them out on a date - or perhaps a combination? Now flip the script and think about what you would most appreciate most on your birthday? This is the concept of love languages - the way we like to give, receive, and express love.
An illustration of an (orange coloured) naked man and woman standing with the erogenous zones on their body labelled.

You're in the zone

July 11 2020
Let’s start with an anecdote, shall we? Picture this: you’re young, cradling the space between childhood and your teenage years. In the playground, perhaps. A school friend runs on over, settles their fingertips in a ball across your undressed knees and tenderly splays them open. “That,” they tell you, “is 1/8th of an orgasm.”