The pleasure quest
Written by Anonymous
Illustration by Jessica Oddi
Here’s the thing. I love to cum. I cum all the time.
I’ve been having explosive orgasms since the tender young age of 14 when I produced the idea to hold my detachable shower head up to my clit. “Holy fuck, was that an orgasm?” I had heard about this urban legend but I didn’t realise it was going to be THAT easy. And yeah, cumming for me IS easy. Provided the pilot knows how to fly the plane…
By the time I lost my virginity at age 18, I was a seasoned orgasmer. I could do it one handed, upside-down, in a time crunch, you name it I’ve orgasmed it. It was as easy as rub my clit thirty times clockwise and BAM. We have lift-off.
So you can imagine how excited I was to add another human into the mix. This was going to be FUN. And look, after the natural first few fumbles that come with losing your V plates, doing the deed was starting to get good. But it was just that, good. Not great. Not explosive. Not even close to what I could achieve with 30 seconds and my right hand. I was into the sex, but why did I feel the need to go home and finish myself off?
The answer was twofold.
- The men I was sleeping with couldn’t differentiate my clit from dog’s nose.
- Not only could they not find it, many of them didn’t even try!
So here’s the thing, I, along with 75% of women, can’t get off from penetration alone. If you too fall into this category, we are the majority baby! So why the fuck is nobody talking about this?
For a long time, I certainly wasn’t. I felt a deep rooted shame, a sense that I was a failure of a woman or some freak of nature. I compulsively masturbated to prove to myself that my body was capable of the simple function. I hoped that something might change overnight. Or that the perfect guy might hit a button inside of me and give me what I had been longing for. I persevered to no avail. I endured years of orgasm-less sex, shrouded in shame and saying things like “I don’t always orgasm” to my sexual partners or simply faking it to avoid the conversation all-together. On the outside I exuded sexual liberation. I shared stories of my many escapades amongst my nearest and dearest but deep down I knew I was living a lie.
At age 21 fresh off the back of a breakup and still on my quest for ultimate pleasure, I decided to upgrade from my trusty shower head and took off to the local sex store to treat myself to my first vibrator. Several years and a number of instruments later I have finally found my Goldilocks. But with it, I discovered something even better. I discovered the courage to get what I want in the bedroom. I discovered the ability to take matters into my own hands.
The day I decided to bring my trusty Goldilocks into the bedroom was the day everything changed, and you better believe I’ve been doing it ever since.
When it comes to sharing my beloved toys with sexual partners, I’ve received a range of responses. For some men, a small piece of vibrating plastic threatens their manhood - but that’s their shit. Others step up to the plate and take control of the wheel. These are the best kind.
So vagina owners, if you’re having earth-shattering orgasms alone but you’re struggling to get off in the bedroom, I urge you to take your sexual prowess to the next level and introduce whatever it takes to get you there. It may seem intimidating at first, but I promise you there is a whole world of mind-blowing orgasms to be had during partnered sex, and you deserve to have them all.
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Jessica Oddi (@oddi.jessica) is a disabled graphic designer in Canada with versatility to spare. She is particularly interested in collaborations involving much needed representation, inclusivity and empowerment.